This isn't happening...

SO, I wouldn't post this on here unless it was getting really bad. I'm scared. Don't worry, its nothing that will alarm you. Just something that stems from pain, sleepless nights, sadness, loneliness, helplessness. Oh, sorry, guess that sounds bad. I'm talking about love. No, don't get all excited, I'm not in love. But I'm just nervous. I haven't actually liked someone so much for a while, because I'm afraid of getting hurt. I like hookups. I like meaningless, ego-boosting fun, not emotional attachments. But at this point I can't stop thinking about this guy. I don't know what to do. He is not my type. Like DEFINITELY NOT. But he's perfect. I mean maybe just because I haven't seen him in a while, but at this point I'm not sure. I mean, he's the only person I want to talk to. I've been out of school for a few weeks now, and there's no one I miss more. That's why I'm scared of relationships. Good relationships stem from pain and I don't know if I want to deal with it. Not that this will turn into relationship. It can't. I have to much self control for that. I have control over my life and everything in it. Just like Brian said. I don't know. I just have had this on my mind for a while and I don't know what to think. I'm tired of relating to songs...

Youtube

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I put lots of my songs on Youtube because I'm auditioning to open a concert at Levitt Pavilion this summer. Comment Comment Comment! (Preferably on my songs themselves rather than my singing, thanks :))

It's love

If I’m a cloud, you’re my silver lining

Without you, my world would be dark and grey

But if this all is true

It’s me that’s hurting you

If I just leave, it’s you alone

The skies would be a bright blue.

 

If I’m a song, you’re my sweet harmony

Without you, my melody is just plain

But if this all is true

It’s me that’s hurting you

If I just leave, your work is done

New songs can end the show.

 

Why do you stay around me?

When I just bring you down

Why do I let you dream about me?

When you should be running this town

 

It’s love

Between a man and a woman

It’s love

Between friends

It’s love

Between a cat and the cat lady

It’s love

Between forces that never end.

If I’m skating, you’re the ice I move on

Without you, I’d fall into the cold

But if this all is true

It’s me that’s hurting you

If I just leave, you’re strong and full

Undisturbed you’ll melt on your own.

 

If I’m a guitar, you’re my amplifier

Without you, my music can’t be heard

But if this all is true

It’s me that’s hurting you

If I just leave, another’ll sound

From a talent much more than my own.

 

Why do you stay around me?

When I just bring you down

Why do I let you dream about me?

When you should be running this town

 

It’s love

Between a man and a woman

It’s love

Between friends

It’s love

Between a cat and the cat lady

It’s love

Between forces that never end.

 

It’s love.

It’s what gives stories a happy ending

It’s love.

It’s what let’s us stop pretending

The answer why

A reason to try

It’s love

 

It’s love

Between a man and a woman

It’s love

Between friends

It’s love

Between a cat and the cat lady

It’s love

Between forces that never end.