Can I ever make you proud?

Every single day of my life I try as hard as I possibly can to be successful and do well in everything I do, yet nothing is ever good enough. My parents seem to think I'm worthless and that I'll never amount to anything. I have so many strong aspirations and ambitions, but they can't seem to understand how motivated I really am. Seriously? My dad is a nice guy, sure, but he is unemployed and can't even be a successful homemaker in our house! My mother sits at a desk all day being a great, organized lawyer but I don't want to live my life in a 9-5. They think they are helping me get motivated when they really are making me want to just fuck up my life just to show them how wrong they are. Criticizing my every move is not going to help me improve myself. The only reason I'm still trying is because I want to go to the college I want and go on to have the life I want so I don't end up like them! Sitting at home studying is not the most important thing in the world, and I'm going to do it anyways and they don't need to give me shit about it every day of my life! I say I want to compose and be a songwriter and learn languages and see the world. All I get from that is that we don't have money for me to go to Argentina, "I haven't ever heard any of your songs." You want to know why? Because you'll hate them. You don't know who I am at all, you lost me a long, long time ago back in eighth grade when my life went to shit and all you can say is "I TOLD YOU SO" Thanks a whole fucking lot mom. And stop drinking you fucking alcoholic. And to my dad. You're a great person. Make something of your life. I can take care of myself. Keep an eye on Cat so she doesn't get fucked up like me.

FST

So this is a general note to self for when I'm deciding how to spend my next summer.

Foothill Summer Theatre is honestly the best thing that has ever happened to me. I can go there and be myself and people don't judge me, they accept me for who I am and because of that I'm able to grow so much as an actor and a person. Every single person I met there from my closest friends such as: Emma, Sean, Megan, Hallie, to people I never became close with: AJ, Allison, Emily. I'm going to remember all of them forever. I admit, I am pretty overly confident about my skills as a performer. Going into this show I thought I deserved a lead and that they would be crazy not to give me one. I did get a lead, but my performance at the end of the 6 weeks was so much better than I ever could have possibly done in June because of the nurturing artistic directors, talented costars, and generally supportive atmosphere. THIS GROUP IS UNBELIEVABLE. I'm sure someday I'll find something else that surpasses this experience, but as of now I am shocked and astonished by how much this program exceeded my already high expectations. I am so happy with all the effort that the board, production staff, parent volunteers make to make this possible for us to do, and my only regret is that I hadn't done it before. When I make plans next summer, I will try so hard to be sure I'm able to stay in this program. It changed my life.